As much as we hope to get to every person facing a terminal diagnosis, we know it's just not possible. And even if we could, photography is not the only way to capture and preserve memories! Once a person dies, it's wonderful to have numerous ways to connect with them and remember them. Here are some ideas to help you capture and preserve memories in other ways if you have a loved one who is dying:
Voice and Stories
- Record conversations - just casual chats, favorite stories, or memories being shared
- Ask about family history, childhood memories, or advice they'd want to pass down
- Have them record themselves reading a favorite book, poem, or singing a song
- Create a voice message for future milestones (birthdays, graduations, weddings)
Written Memories
- Write down their favorite sayings, expressions, or pieces of advice
- If able, ask them to write letters to be opened on special occasions
- Create a recipe collection with their handwritten notes and cooking tips
- Have family members write down their favorite memories with your loved one
Simple Keepsakes
- Collect items that smell like them (perfume, soap, clothing)
- Use safe paint or clay to make handprints or fingerprints
- Keep a piece of their handwriting by having them write a short note
- Save items they used often that you’d like to have (jewelry, tools, books, scarves, blankets, etc.)
Digital Memories
- Create a shared photo album where family can add pictures and captions
- Record video messages or take photos - even simple ones of them in their favorite chair, or just smiling back at you
- Save voicemails they've left on your phone
- Take photos of meaningful objects, their hands, or their living space
Memory Gathering
- Ask other family members and friends to share their favorite memories via text or email
- Create a memory jar where people can write down special moments
- Compile a list of their favorite things to share with loved ones (foods, movies, songs, places, etc.)
- Host a living funeral where guests come and share how much they mean to them (you can record it, have people write down their messages, or use a physical object as a symbol—like people tying pre-cut ribbon on a person’s wrist and share what memories or qualities the string represents)
Please don't feel pressure to do everything - even one or two of these can create something incredibly precious. You're already doing something beautiful by thinking about preserving these memories.
As tasks pile up and more things need your attention, remember that some of the most beautiful memories come from simply being present with the sights, sounds, smells, touch, and taste of the moment.
We are sending you so much love as you navigate the days ahead.
